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Trying hard to confuse future archeologists.

Finding little bits and pieces of the universe that aren't in the right place and sorting them out,
hopefully in somebody elses garage.

If you really want to appreciate nature, you need to either rake it or shovel it.

You can never have too many clamps.

The confirmed gadget builder soon learns one rule: never throw anything away!
From "Home-Built Photo Equipment" by Walter E. Burton, Little Technical Library, 1947

Buckle up! It makes it harder for the aliens to suck you out of your car!
Seen on a bumper sticker.

Every version of every browser on every platform is different.

J2ME: Every phone is broken in a different way.

Java: write once, debug everywhere.

Don't argue with anything that outweighs you by an order of magnitude.

Don't argue with a rattlesnake.

Besides the three Rs, I would teach kids to learn to draw, play a musical instrument and play chess.

If you are going to give hundreds of millions of people access to worldwide communications, you need to be prepared for the fact that a certain percentage of them will be: careless, stupid, mean, criminal, physco or downright evil.

Millions of people have to take off their shoes at airports due to the actions of one man. Be thankful that a naked man didn't try to hijack an airplane with his bare hands.

An old roommate was once asked why he didn't write anything down. His reply "the things I remember keep me busy enough".

Anything that needs to be watered twice a day for three weeks is trying to tell you that it doesn't want to grow here.

Singing from the same hymnal isn't enough. You also have to be on the same page.

I don't mind alien abductions. It's their catch and release policy that I don't like.

You can observe a lot by watching.
Yogi Berra

Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes time and annoys the pig.
Mark Twain

Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
Napoleon Bonaparte

No battle plan ever survives contact with the enemy.
Helmuth von Moltke the Elder

It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
Abraham Lincoln or Mark Twain or perhaps Proverbs 17:28.

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.
Oscar Wilde

An amateur practices until he gets it right; a professional practices until he can't get it wrong.
See: Quote Investigator